New Years Resolution

It’s that time of year when the New Year’s Resolutions become a necessity. I’ve been attending the gym since about October, and while I would like to look better than I do for my wedding and life, in general, losing weight is NOT one of my resolutions. I’ve been told to prepare myself mentally for the busy, overcrowded gym. I’m not stoked about that.

I don’t really do resolutions because I’m already a goal oriented person, and when it comes down to it when I want something done, I simply do it. So, the whole resolution thing isn’t really for me.

In fact, this is the first year in a while, I feel truly inspired to do a new years resolution. In past, I’ve resolved to stop cracking my knuckles, and well I still do it. I’ve also resolved to lose weight. So, the whole resolution thing isn’t a big success with me.

I’ve decided that this year I’d like my New Year’s resolution to be something a little more abstract. Weight loss is tangible, and so is getting a job. The thing is, I worry about everything. While I was home planning the wedding, we had a meeting with a catering manager, and I literally got physically ill. I nearly threw up and got the worst migraine I’ve had in years. This is unacceptable.

When I called one of my aunts over the holidays, she told me to enjoy my engagement; to not stress. For me, this is easier said than done. In fact, two after she’d said this I was sitting in that meeting wanting to vomit. After speaking with FH, I realized that getting ill is not the answer, not to mention being stressed is going to be a damper on the weight loss situation. Damn Cortisol.

My New Year’s resolution is to enjoy myself. I’m not going to stress about flowers, venues, and candles. I’m not going to worry about getting skinny for the wedding. I’m going to do yoga and run because I love it. I’m not going to panic if I don’t lose weight and see results immediately–partly because I won’t see results immediately and partly because it doesn’t matter. Finally, I’m hoping that by not being caught up in the worrying and enjoying life, I can bang out some fantastic writing this year.

This is my first resolution that doesn’t involve something about my physical appearance. And for once, I think that’s a good thing.

The other thing I’d like to improve on this year is my finacial situation. I’m tired of being broke and I’m thinking I need to be even more proactive when it comes to getting my money in order. Enough is enough. I’m getting married in a year (almost to the day!) and I need to learn how to manage my money. I also hope, more than anything that 2011 is the year I finally get stable, full-time work. I’ve already received two rejection letters from schools (one was a school I thought I had a shot at). I’m trying to not get discouraged but it’s ugly out there.

But I’m not going to worry about! Everything will workout.

Finally, this year I’d like to give this blog a bit a face lift. I think it needs some changes. I’m thinking of posting a poem once a week (maybe once every two weeks) and possibly start a series of short stories here.

My girlfriend and I share work with each other once a month and I’m hoping to get my novel polished, but I have to say, I’m so sick of that project. The thing is I want to see it published. My mother read it recently and told me that I wasn’t digging deep enough emotionally with it. While I found this incredibly harsh criticism, I think she was right. Ever since she told me that I’ve had a hard time getting to work on it. I’m deathly afraid of my novel and I think I am holding back. My mom said I’m afraid of what I’ll find when I dig deep.

Probably more Catholic-Italian guilt.

My friend over at Widelawns is doing a thirty day thing where she writes on a specific topic everyday, although she’s been a bit busy with a beautiful newborn baby. I, however, do not have child, or a husband to take care of so more writing is definitely in order. I’m not sure exactly what to do and all suggestions are welcome.

Regardless, 2011 will be a good year. By the end of 2011 I will be Mrs. One Mean MFA, not Ms. or Miss. Whoa. I also hope to have enjoyed 2011, being engaged and truly embracing the lifestyle of a writer.

Again, the blog needs a makeover, so help me out. What would you all like to see more of? What would you like to see less of? Are there any other writing blogs out there that I should check out that might give me some ideas.

I hope you all have a safe and wonderful time celebrating tomorrow night.

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