Month: December 2010

New Years Resolution

It’s that time of year when the New Year’s Resolutions become a necessity. I’ve been attending the gym since about October, and while I would like to look better than I do for my wedding and life, in general, losing weight is NOT one of my resolutions. I’ve been told to prepare myself mentally for the busy, overcrowded gym. I’m not stoked about that.

I don’t really do resolutions because I’m already a goal oriented person, and when it comes down to it when I want something done, I simply do it. So, the whole resolution thing isn’t really for me.

In fact, this is the first year in a while, I feel truly inspired to do a new years resolution. In past, I’ve resolved to stop cracking my knuckles, and well I still do it. I’ve also resolved to lose weight. So, the whole resolution thing isn’t a big success with me.

I’ve decided that this year I’d like my New Year’s resolution to be something a little more abstract. Weight loss is tangible, and so is getting a job. The thing is, I worry about everything. While I was home planning the wedding, we had a meeting with a catering manager, and I literally got physically ill. I nearly threw up and got the worst migraine I’ve had in years. This is unacceptable.

When I called one of my aunts over the holidays, she told me to enjoy my engagement; to not stress. For me, this is easier said than done. In fact, two after she’d said this I was sitting in that meeting wanting to vomit. After speaking with FH, I realized that getting ill is not the answer, not to mention being stressed is going to be a damper on the weight loss situation. Damn Cortisol.

My New Year’s resolution is to enjoy myself. I’m not going to stress about flowers, venues, and candles. I’m not going to worry about getting skinny for the wedding. I’m going to do yoga and run because I love it. I’m not going to panic if I don’t lose weight and see results immediately–partly because I won’t see results immediately and partly because it doesn’t matter. Finally, I’m hoping that by not being caught up in the worrying and enjoying life, I can bang out some fantastic writing this year.

This is my first resolution that doesn’t involve something about my physical appearance. And for once, I think that’s a good thing.

The other thing I’d like to improve on this year is my finacial situation. I’m tired of being broke and I’m thinking I need to be even more proactive when it comes to getting my money in order. Enough is enough. I’m getting married in a year (almost to the day!) and I need to learn how to manage my money. I also hope, more than anything that 2011 is the year I finally get stable, full-time work. I’ve already received two rejection letters from schools (one was a school I thought I had a shot at). I’m trying to not get discouraged but it’s ugly out there.

But I’m not going to worry about! Everything will workout.

Finally, this year I’d like to give this blog a bit a face lift. I think it needs some changes. I’m thinking of posting a poem once a week (maybe once every two weeks) and possibly start a series of short stories here.

My girlfriend and I share work with each other once a month and I’m hoping to get my novel polished, but I have to say, I’m so sick of that project. The thing is I want to see it published. My mother read it recently and told me that I wasn’t digging deep enough emotionally with it. While I found this incredibly harsh criticism, I think she was right. Ever since she told me that I’ve had a hard time getting to work on it. I’m deathly afraid of my novel and I think I am holding back. My mom said I’m afraid of what I’ll find when I dig deep.

Probably more Catholic-Italian guilt.

My friend over at Widelawns is doing a thirty day thing where she writes on a specific topic everyday, although she’s been a bit busy with a beautiful newborn baby. I, however, do not have child, or a husband to take care of so more writing is definitely in order. I’m not sure exactly what to do and all suggestions are welcome.

Regardless, 2011 will be a good year. By the end of 2011 I will be Mrs. One Mean MFA, not Ms. or Miss. Whoa. I also hope to have enjoyed 2011, being engaged and truly embracing the lifestyle of a writer.

Again, the blog needs a makeover, so help me out. What would you all like to see more of? What would you like to see less of? Are there any other writing blogs out there that I should check out that might give me some ideas.

I hope you all have a safe and wonderful time celebrating tomorrow night.


Christmas 2010

Two days ago, I was feeling pretty grinchy. My father was being stubborn, my mother was stressing me out with the wedding plans, and I had already spent way too much time with family. Oh, I also hadn’t bought a single Christmas present for anyone. In fact I still have a couple of people left to shop for, but thankfully I’m seeing them after Christmas so I’m not worried.

Well, on the 23rd, I was grouchy and grinchy lady. Last night, I enjoyed a beautiful meal with my very close family. It was nice to spend time with Black Sheep sister–back story may come in another post. She and my father don’t get along, in fact she was the reason he was being stubborn. My other sister and I had to practically beg him to invite her for the meal. I was feeling low on Christmas spirit, and I’m not exactly one to have a ton of it already. I  so prefer Easter to Christmas. I know, I’m weird. Any way, it was a nice evening, and we’re on our way to mass, and will return for more eating.

Still, I have to say, I won’t be jotting Christmas 2010 as a favorite, or one that will stick out in my memory. Regardless, it was good to see everyone.

I’m relieved that I’ll be heading back to the FH and my apartment on Wednesday. I decided, as I was driving around town today finishing up my Christmas shopping–what? the sales are so good!– that I have a hard time with the holidays because I really enjoy “me time” and when I’m home I’m saturated by family and friend time.

I can’t wait to snuggle up with the FH in my cozy apartment, in front of the fire-place.

Well, I need to finish wrapping presents for my friends that I’ll be seeing on Tuesday.

How would you rate your Christmas 2010?

Home for the Holidays

When you live alone your space is generally peaceful. I truely enjoy living alone because it’s often nice and quiet.

When I come home, I realize how quickly I’ve forgotten that the family I come from is so loud.

I also forget how much old people bicker.

Maybe it’s old married couples, or maybe it’s just my parents. Regardless, I so hope I don’t become an old cranky lady who bitches and yells at her husband. I also hope FH doesn’t become a grouchy old man who bickers with me.

If I didn’t have so much wedding planning to do, I would still be in my peaceful apartment.

As is always the case when I’m home, I eagerly look forward to the return to my cute little apartment, which now has a quaint, little fireplace.

Are all of you home for the holidays? How do deal with all the yelling? Or are you all lucky enough to have families that don’t shout at each other.

Today, I am lucky not to have to adminster a final exam. This means I get to spend the day at home. I’m about to make some hot cocoa–not from those nasty packets but legit with milk and cocoa powder. I’ve finished unpacking my bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom. I’m about to tackle the DVDs and books, then finish the last stack of papers until next semester!

I can’t wait to be officially done.

Also, today is yoga. I love Wednesdays, don’t you?

Wedding Talk–No worries, I’ll Make it Quick

I don’t want to turn this into a wedding planning blog, because lord knows there are plenty out there, but I must get somethings off my chest.

As you know, The Boyfriend/Future Husband proposed over Thanksgiving break while we were on vacation. Well, as I’ve mentioned before I come from a huge Italian family. In fact, before we posted it on facebook, I called my mother. In less than 2 hours, my cousin (who is like my sister) had already left me message on facebook congratulating me. I was actually signing on to write her an email about it, but she already knew.

So within two hours, the news was international.


Well, we’ve met with the priest and are working on setting a date.

I’ll be home for Christmas and am hoping to have the venue and church squared away. Of course this would mean things need to go as planned. I have to say, I’m so grateful Future Husband asked me when he did, because he’s allowed for me to have a little over a year to plan the wedding.

While I’m sure there will be plenty of stories that will come from the wedding planning, right now setting the date and convincing my mother that having the wedding where Future Husband and I want  is turning into such a nightmare.

My whole family lives outside of the country. Future Husband’s family lives in America. All of the older Italian generation wants to go to the wedding, but travel for them is difficult. I get it, I really do, but I have my heart set on a certain place, and Future Husband likes the idea too. Frankly, it’s our day, and we want it have the party where we  want to have the party. I know it sounds selfish, but whatever.

I love my mother more than she realized, and  more than anything I want to make my parents happy. FH (Future Husband) and I met with the priest, and because of the date we want he can’t marry us. My mother asked our priest back home, and he can’t either unless we get married on the Friday, instead of the Saturday. While, getting married on the Friday would be cheaper, I am hell-bent on the Saturday. As I write this, I feel like I sound like some crazy unreasonable bride that Oxygen network would kill to film. Am I being unreasonable to want to marry on a certain date, in a certain city (that I should mention has a huge place  FH and my heart. We met there and went to college together there. So many great memories. And bonus it’s close to where my immediate family lives)?

Look, I know I’m particular, high-strung, stubborn, and anal, but is that necessarily a bad thing when it comes to planning the first big party as an official, united couple?

Am I being crazy? Bitchy? I just want it be this great party that people look back to and thinks, “Man, I sure had a blast at FH and One Mean MFA’s wedding.”

Is that so terrible?

Insert Title about Moving Here

Tomorrow is the last day of regular classes before the semester ends. I’m thorough thrilled because once I move into my new apartment (which will happen this weekend), I will finally have some time to get some grading done.

I shamefully admit that moving has taken a huge chunk out of my workout time, and I feel like a disgusting slob who is going to look like fat bride (in a year) if I don’t my butt in gear. I’m so grateful that I get the keys to my new place on Friday so I can get this moving party started.

My old lease ends on Tuesday of next week, so hopefully by Sunday I can have everything in the new place and be unpacked by Monday. I unpack wicked fast.

While I’m excited to have a new place (kind of), there are some things I will miss about my old apartment. For one, I have built-in bookshelves at my old apartment and I only needed one book shelf. Because my new place doesn’t have any built-ins I’m going to need to buy bookshelves. I’m totally bummed about this. As much fun as it is to spend hours at Ikea, and dream about what your apartment could look like, I simply cannot not afford to be buying furniture. Also, this may seem foolish but whatever, I feel like buying bookshelves is silly because eventually The Boyfriend (when he’s my husband) and I will have a house/place together and buying  furniture seems like a waste. In fact, this is the main reason why I never bought any bedroom furniture.

I do need to take my books out though, I am always digging through my books. My books are totally employed. I use them regularly. I sift through them, read favorite sections of my favorite books, use them in my teaching. My books don’t just sit on the shelves and look fabulous, in turn making me fabulous. I put my books to work. So, I will need a place to put them.

I guess, I can always sell whatever furniture I don’t need when I finally have a house with The Future Husband (maybe that should be what I call The Boyfriend from now on–FH?–What do you think?).

The best thing about moving, I think, is purging. Yesterday, I got rid of old shoes, some clothes, and just stuff that I don’t need or want I did find some stuff that I’ll try to sell when I move, but getting rid of some of the stuff that I don’t need is nice.

I try so hard to be a minimalist, but then I do have about 15 boxes of books, so I guess I’m not so good at that. I also have 2 boxes of DVDs. I think this is why I’m so resistant to buy furniture and drawers and those plastic Tupperware things to get organized. I know I won’t be living in this new place for longer than a year, and everything that goes in to that place, has to come out. It’s just best not to have too much stuff.

There is one caveat, I desperately want to decorate this apartment. I know I can’t really afford it, but I would like this new space to be more pleasant and homey. I do, however, think that spending money on this apartment is foolish. I mean, what if I don’t want to use the same items to decorate, then I’ve bought stuff for nothing.

I don’t know. It seemed fine in my last place, that I didn’t decorate. I think I can handle another year of nothingness on the walls.

We shall see.

Maybe if I had some tips for how to decorate, with antique/vintage stuff, on a budget I’d feel better.


To do list before Christmas:

1. Write final exams for students including a grammar final
2. Grade final papers and portfolios for 4 classes.
3. Pack up my apartment.
4. Move to new apartment.
5. Unpack new apartment.
6. Final grades.
7. Grade final exams.

If I survive this week, it will be a miracle. Thank God, I’m not getting anyone Christmas gifts.

I should continue packing, and stop procrastinating. :_-(