Month: October 2009

Just in case you didn’t believe me

Things due by next week:

1) Annotated Bibliography

2) Research Paper proposal and working bibliography

3) 60 pages of a screenplay script

4) 30 pages of my thesis (novel).

Let the meltdown begin.


Job Hunt Update

I applied for one job via the MLA job list. I worked on the cover letter and my cv for a week or two with help from my thesis chair. I had sent the letter to another professor of mine and didn’t receive criticism back until after I mailed it. The professor who emailed me back after I’d sent the letter was very very critical and after my thesis chair told me to stop working on it and send it already I was a bit worried. Oh well.

I’ve decided not to stress about it because on top of the other shit that is going on in my life stressing out about something I can’t control is not going to make the situation any better. Though, I will say, my heart was beating pretty hard when I handed it over to the post office worker.

The job doesn’t start until August 2010 so I need to chill out about it. I am also applying for jobs for December for when I move. No more GTAing (which I think could be both good and bad). That is also quite stressful. I applied for two language arts teacher positions (middle school). I will say while I would take any job right now, I’m not stoked about middle school. I’ve taught 9th grade and hated them. I would imagine 6th, 7th and 8th graders are not any more loveable.  I have faith that God is looking out for me and won’t let me get myself into a crappy situation. Regardless, teaching any grade will pay my rent so I’ll take what I can get. Who knows, I may love the little guys.

I’ll briefly update the “life” situation as soon as I have some time to construct the sentences.




I know I haven’t written in forever. It’s midterms, I’m trying to get my shit together. Shit can be defined as: the stuff of life, and in my case that means, a major family crisis (more on this when I have a chance to write), moving, paper grading, class work, thesis, and a long distance relationship.

Shhhhh. So busy.

Heavy Wet Eyes and a Punch in the Chest

I counted the days to my moving to the same zip code as my boyfriend and it’s 64 days. SIXTY FOUR! I can’t decide if I’m okay with it, or if when I counted the days I was hoping it would be less. When I got fifty, I have to admit I was so disappointed. I thought I’d count and it would be like 40 days, but instead it’s almost a month more.

With the semester reaching a climax work is piling up around me and having not seen my love for a month (which doesn’t seem long saying it out, but I’m so over it) and knowing it’s going to be another month before I see him is really killing me. We have a rule where we don’t say “I miss you” to each other because it’s not healthy to dwell and isn’t it obvious that we miss each other. If we didn’t miss each other something would be wrong. And while he hasn’t said “I miss you” flat out, he has hinted at some emotion regarding my absence in his life. Recently he texted me randomly during his work day and told me he was usually okay waiting but he didn’t want to wait to see me, then added, “I want to see you now.”

Tell me about.

Today, when I looked at my planner and see presentations, screenplays, papers, cover letters, and a thesis needing to be completed, it seems like all those things are even more difficult to complete because my chest feels like it’s caving, my ribs can’t hold in the pain any longer. I’m going to implode.

I know I have to think about these things like a relay race. Every task completed is one step closer to being able to cook dinner for him or go on a date. A date! with him.

There is so obviously a whole in my chest. I can do it though. I will survive.

p.s. I hope he doesn’t read this, cause then I’ll be a pinch embarrassed. 

p.p.s. I love him–a lot.

Overwhelmed, please help

Decemeber 8th (I think that’s when my semester ends) is so close. Right now I have more work to do and I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know where to start. October is starting to weigh me down.

Yesterday my thesis chair reminded me that I was running behind schedule with the progress of my thesis. As if I wasn’t aware. I really need to figure out how to up my productivity.

Suggestions? And not sleeping is not a solution.