New Years Resolution

It’s that time of year when the New Year’s Resolutions become a necessity. I’ve been attending the gym since about October, and while I would like to look better than I do for my wedding and life, in general, losing weight is NOT one of my resolutions. I’ve been told to prepare myself mentally for the busy, overcrowded gym. I’m not stoked about that.

I don’t really do resolutions because I’m already a goal oriented person, and when it comes down to it when I want something done, I simply do it. So, the whole resolution thing isn’t really for me.

In fact, this is the first year in a while, I feel truly inspired to do a new years resolution. In past, I’ve resolved to stop cracking my knuckles, and well I still do it. I’ve also resolved to lose weight. So, the whole resolution thing isn’t a big success with me.

I’ve decided that this year I’d like my New Year’s resolution to be something a little more abstract. Weight loss is tangible, and so is getting a job. The thing is, I worry about everything. While I was home planning the wedding, we had a meeting with a catering manager, and I literally got physically ill. I nearly threw up and got the worst migraine I’ve had in years. This is unacceptable.

When I called one of my aunts over the holidays, she told me to enjoy my engagement; to not stress. For me, this is easier said than done. In fact, two after she’d said this I was sitting in that meeting wanting to vomit. After speaking with FH, I realized that getting ill is not the answer, not to mention being stressed is going to be a damper on the weight loss situation. Damn Cortisol.

My New Year’s resolution is to enjoy myself. I’m not going to stress about flowers, venues, and candles. I’m not going to worry about getting skinny for the wedding. I’m going to do yoga and run because I love it. I’m not going to panic if I don’t lose weight and see results immediately–partly because I won’t see results immediately and partly because it doesn’t matter. Finally, I’m hoping that by not being caught up in the worrying and enjoying life, I can bang out some fantastic writing this year.

This is my first resolution that doesn’t involve something about my physical appearance. And for once, I think that’s a good thing.

The other thing I’d like to improve on this year is my finacial situation. I’m tired of being broke and I’m thinking I need to be even more proactive when it comes to getting my money in order. Enough is enough. I’m getting married in a year (almost to the day!) and I need to learn how to manage my money. I also hope, more than anything that 2011 is the year I finally get stable, full-time work. I’ve already received two rejection letters from schools (one was a school I thought I had a shot at). I’m trying to not get discouraged but it’s ugly out there.

But I’m not going to worry about! Everything will workout.

Finally, this year I’d like to give this blog a bit a face lift. I think it needs some changes. I’m thinking of posting a poem once a week (maybe once every two weeks) and possibly start a series of short stories here.

My girlfriend and I share work with each other once a month and I’m hoping to get my novel polished, but I have to say, I’m so sick of that project. The thing is I want to see it published. My mother read it recently and told me that I wasn’t digging deep enough emotionally with it. While I found this incredibly harsh criticism, I think she was right. Ever since she told me that I’ve had a hard time getting to work on it. I’m deathly afraid of my novel and I think I am holding back. My mom said I’m afraid of what I’ll find when I dig deep.

Probably more Catholic-Italian guilt.

My friend over at Widelawns is doing a thirty day thing where she writes on a specific topic everyday, although she’s been a bit busy with a beautiful newborn baby. I, however, do not have child, or a husband to take care of so more writing is definitely in order. I’m not sure exactly what to do and all suggestions are welcome.

Regardless, 2011 will be a good year. By the end of 2011 I will be Mrs. One Mean MFA, not Ms. or Miss. Whoa. I also hope to have enjoyed 2011, being engaged and truly embracing the lifestyle of a writer.

Again, the blog needs a makeover, so help me out. What would you all like to see more of? What would you like to see less of? Are there any other writing blogs out there that I should check out that might give me some ideas.

I hope you all have a safe and wonderful time celebrating tomorrow night.

Ringing in the New Year

Well last year I vowed to stop cracking my knuckles and while I, of course, have not stopped, I definitely don’t crack them as often as I used to, so for that I think I deserve some kudos. I also wanted to lose some weight, while this did not happen either, I did get into way better shape and added a mile to my daily jog. This deserves a high five. In fact, 2009 was the first year of many that I actually did what I set out to do.

For 2010 I hope to cut down on the cursing. There are days when I curse like a sailor and I’m a teacher and this is a bad habit. Although I think it’s important to point out that I don’t curse in front of my students because that is not right.  I’m also educated and educated people shouldn’t curse; at least that’s what my dad has always said. My very cute boyfriend once asked me if my parents ever cursed and I thought about it, and you know what? They don’t. I’ve only heard my dad curse maybe four times in my whole life and he wasn’t cursing because he was mad, he was actually repeating something someone had said. My mom is notorious for saying things like, “oh fudgsicle sticks” and I think I too should try to be more like my parents who have enough self-control not to curse.

My second resolution is to do way more writing. I’ve already started working on this resolution. I’m not waiting for the new year to start writing. What’s the point of waiting for the new year to write? You either are going to write or your not there is no point in waiting. This movement to “Write Everyday or Else” is really helping me get focused on my career as a writer, and while I admit I haven’t been writing everyday, I have been writing way more than ever in my whole career as a student and writer, so I think it’s working.

Once I have  job I’m hoping that I’ll develop a more structured schedule not just for writing but for reading and exercise. Right now it’s all over the place. I try to wake up early and at the same time daily but knowing that there is nowhere for me to be kind of makes a 6:30 AM wake up call seem silly, but I do set my alarm for that time regardless. I’m trying.

Last year I also wrote about the stress of New Years Eve plans and this year I’ve avoided them completely. This year the boyfriend and I will go out to dinner and head for the bowling alley. It’s not complicated, it’s not too crowded and its good clean fun. We’re taking a cab so we can wasted. I’m looking forward to this New Years Eve because for once there is no pressure to have plans and be dressed up, it’s become what it should have always been about, having fun and being with the people you love.

Do you have plans for tonight?

The New Year stresses me out. First you have to be all motivated to make yourself a better person then if you’re like me you feel like such a loser if you don’t have plans for the New Year’s Eve. For the past three or four years the pressure of making plans has really got me motivated to have my own house that I can throw a New Year’s Eve Extravagaza in. I think I’ve become so motivated because for the past few years the plans I’ve made for New Year’s Eve have not seemed to manifest. Instead of partying it has been more little adventures which include driving around and finding something to do. WTF? It would be nice to be the place where people come instead of having to search for a bar or friend that is having some kind of get together.

It seems there really are only a few  options for New Year’s Eve:

1) Stay home and enjoy some quality Ryan Seacrest

2) A crappy crowded bar with a bunch of sweaty strangers

3) A party your friend is throwing which may or may not be fun. Let’s be honest some people do not know how to throw parties properly.

4) A night club

Plans for New Year’s Eve have become so important (or maybe I’m just taking notice because now I actually care) that bars and other venues charge like $100 bucks a ticket to get in and it may include like a drink or two, some dancing and it won’t close shop until like 2. WOW! That is expensive with a side of lame sauce.

This year I think my other half and I did a better job of looking for things to do earlier but our plans are still up in the air and really the only thing I want is to be slightly tipsy and dance my heart out until midnight give my love a kiss and dance some more. 

If you’ve got any cool ideas for New Years feel free to post them in the comments section.