Ringing in the New Year

Well last year I vowed to stop cracking my knuckles and while I, of course, have not stopped, I definitely don’t crack them as often as I used to, so for that I think I deserve some kudos. I also wanted to lose some weight, while this did not happen either, I did get into way better shape and added a mile to my daily jog. This deserves a high five. In fact, 2009 was the first year of many that I actually did what I set out to do.

For 2010 I hope to cut down on the cursing. There are days when I curse like a sailor and I’m a teacher and this is a bad habit. Although I think it’s important to point out that I don’t curse in front of my students because that is not right.  I’m also educated and educated people shouldn’t curse; at least that’s what my dad has always said. My very cute boyfriend once asked me if my parents ever cursed and I thought about it, and you know what? They don’t. I’ve only heard my dad curse maybe four times in my whole life and he wasn’t cursing because he was mad, he was actually repeating something someone had said. My mom is notorious for saying things like, “oh fudgsicle sticks” and I think I too should try to be more like my parents who have enough self-control not to curse.

My second resolution is to do way more writing. I’ve already started working on this resolution. I’m not waiting for the new year to start writing. What’s the point of waiting for the new year to write? You either are going to write or your not there is no point in waiting. This movement to “Write Everyday or Else” is really helping me get focused on my career as a writer, and while I admit I haven’t been writing everyday, I have been writing way more than ever in my whole career as a student and writer, so I think it’s working.

Once I have  job I’m hoping that I’ll develop a more structured schedule not just for writing but for reading and exercise. Right now it’s all over the place. I try to wake up early and at the same time daily but knowing that there is nowhere for me to be kind of makes a 6:30 AM wake up call seem silly, but I do set my alarm for that time regardless. I’m trying.

Last year I also wrote about the stress of New Years Eve plans and this year I’ve avoided them completely. This year the boyfriend and I will go out to dinner and head for the bowling alley. It’s not complicated, it’s not too crowded and its good clean fun. We’re taking a cab so we can wasted. I’m looking forward to this New Years Eve because for once there is no pressure to have plans and be dressed up, it’s become what it should have always been about, having fun and being with the people you love.

Oh Yes It’s Summertime!

Well guys, I’m done with all my work. My silly school work and my paper grading. I’ve even averaged out their grades, just waiting on some lazy bone students to hand in late work (don’t worry, I am really just checking my mailbox, if they dont’ have their late work in F F F) and then inputting the grades into the computer. I am stoked. It is finally summer for me.

While, it’s been a super busy summer, in the midst of it I’ve learned some valuable lessons.

1) I can focus, if I put my mind to it. For years, as a pre-med student it seemed I was unable to sit down and do work. Maybe that’s because I have a deep seeded hatred for chemistry. I learned this summer if I really want to get it done, chances are I can do it in one sitting.

2) The focus doesn’t come unless you’re work space is clean.

3) Even though you have a ton of work to do, reward yourself if you’ve gotten a lot done. Maybe go to the $1 movie box at the grocery store and take a good two hour break. You’ve earned it.  I have found that if I don’t get lazy every once in a while my brain is not as efficient and my work suffers because of it.

4) Your school work and work you WANT to do comes first. While I love my students to death ( I had a great group this summer session) my work comes before theirs. I know they want their grades as fast as I can produce them, but it’s important that I don’t neglect my work. After all I am student first, GTA second.

5) Organization is key. This final summer class I was taking, I was a bit lazy and didn’t get my binder organized and my shit together until the end. It wasn’t until the deadlines were listed in my planner and the dividers were labeled in my binder that I really was ready to focus. I noticed this also with my teaching stuff. I started off really organized, with “To be Graded” folders, “Graded” and “Teaching Materials” and because of this I managed to get my student’s stuff in order (Can you tell I’m so left brained?)

6) If an idea comes to you in the middle the night and you have to be up 7, who cares, write your idea down. I figure I’ll sleep when I’m dead (or on vacation, which is right now!). I can’t tell you how many great ideas I’ve had right before falling asleep that I have neglected to write down. Not any more. I don’t care if turning on the lamp is going to burn a whole in my eyeballs, it’s worth it.

7) It’s important to be social, even if you’re busy. I know when I don’t have human interaction I get a little nutty. Friends are a wonderful support to have, take advantage of the network you are a part of. Don’t, however, take advantage of your friends.

Well, that’s just some of what I’ve learned these past two months.

I think that’s enough Pollyanna for today.

I’ll be on vacation for two weeks, but I’ll definitely be posting while I’m away, especially since I have time to write now.

The writing workshop friend or foe?

The workshop. This is the class us MFA’s covet. It’s why we spend hours and days applying to grad school. It’s the deadlines of workshop that force some of us to even write at all. So why have I hated workshops this past year?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. As an undergraduate I was obsessed with the workshop. It was fun, not that much work s far as reading was concerned, and the energy in the classroom was positive and helpful. It was in these workshops that the best classroom discussion as a student happened. When I started grad school this fall, I was stoked to have a workshop in my schedule. While this workshop was not terrible, it wasn’t satisfying. I never left feeling the way I do when I eat a delicious cheeseburger and fries. I left class as if having eaten a mediocre salad from a place like Applebee’s. Some nights of this fall workshop, I felt as if I’d ordered dessert, but usually it was just the salad.

This spring, I was enrolled in two workshops that I will say were both even bigger disappointments than the fall workshop. One of course was better than other, but the one that sucked the most sucked for many reasons, I’ve been trying to decipher. Knowing what the issues were can only help make me a better student and hopefully future teacher of the workshop.

One of the workshops was a novel workshop. This was the one that didn’t suck as bad as the poetry one. The issue with novel workshop was that our professor, I felt, didn’t ask  us  enough questions during discussion. It would either be what this professor thought, and three or four students leading the discussion. The amount of suggestions to improve our work was minimal and these suggestions ,as the course progressed, became contradictory. For instance, the first installment I submitted I was told, by the class and my professor to slow down, and be more description then when the second installment that was workshopped, I was told I had used too much description. I was confused, but decided I was the writer and would do as I pleased.

Poetry workshop this past spring was a nightmare. It was nothing but a bunch of poets and their egos, including the professor. While I will say I was fortunate to receive helpful suggestions from my professor and two or three classmates in general the workshop discussions centered around two or three students who dominated discussion. These students didn’t offer advice just insults, saying things like, ” I can’t get anything out of this poem,” and “this poem is too descriptive, it makes me nauseous.” These are really comments not embelished, just truth.

There was always a negative and awkward energy in this poetry workshop and by the end of the spring, I had decided that having two more workshops left was a Godsend because I was over the workshop atmosphere. I had signed up for the summer workshop being offered simply to fulfill graduation requirements.

Here’s the thing, last night we workshopped for the first time, and while I wasn’t the one being workshopped I still felt satisfied. It was wonderful. Everyone was positive and had wonderful suggestions. The criticisms were well thought out and not said offensively and the writers didn’t take offense to what was said. It was a circle of happiness, and for the first time in grad school I’m looking forward to workshop. I’ve fallen in love with workshop all over again.

After leaving class so satisfied I tried to figure out why it had been such a great class. You know, really analyze it to death and remove the magic from it. I’ve decided it’s the professor who is running it. This professor, while super structured demands that we hand in written comments as part of our grade, and has a structure for these comments. Because there is so much structure the questions the professor asks lead to people making really helpful suggestions.

I am being workshopped on Tuesday and can’t wait. I’m looking forward to getting advice then rushing home and making alterations and adding to this summer project. It’s so nice to take a class or start a project that reminds you why you’re doing what you’re doing in the first place. Last night and these past two or three days have been like that for me, I’ve been reminded why I am in an MFA program and why I love to write.