Christmas 2010

Two days ago, I was feeling pretty grinchy. My father was being stubborn, my mother was stressing me out with the wedding plans, and I had already spent way too much time with family. Oh, I also hadn’t bought a single Christmas present for anyone. In fact I still have a couple of people left to shop for, but thankfully I’m seeing them after Christmas so I’m not worried.

Well, on the 23rd, I was grouchy and grinchy lady. Last night, I enjoyed a beautiful meal with my very close family. It was nice to spend time with Black Sheep sister–back story may come in another post. She and my father don’t get along, in fact she was the reason he was being stubborn. My other sister and I had to practically beg him to invite her for the meal. I was feeling low on Christmas spirit, and I’m not exactly one to have a ton of it already. I  so prefer Easter to Christmas. I know, I’m weird. Any way, it was a nice evening, and we’re on our way to mass, and will return for more eating.

Still, I have to say, I won’t be jotting Christmas 2010 as a favorite, or one that will stick out in my memory. Regardless, it was good to see everyone.

I’m relieved that I’ll be heading back to the FH and my apartment on Wednesday. I decided, as I was driving around town today finishing up my Christmas shopping–what? the sales are so good!– that I have a hard time with the holidays because I really enjoy “me time” and when I’m home I’m saturated by family and friend time.

I can’t wait to snuggle up with the FH in my cozy apartment, in front of the fire-place.

Well, I need to finish wrapping presents for my friends that I’ll be seeing on Tuesday.

How would you rate your Christmas 2010?

Midterm Blues

It’s that time in the semester when everything feels crazy. The semester started off rough and I feel as if I’ll never get catch up. I’m drowning in papers to grade, and job applications. Oh and did I mention I have to move. Yeah move in the middle of the school year. I’m still not in the “yeah it’s happening” mode. In fact, I’m still reeling that I’m being asked to pay an even higher rent when tomatoes cost $3.99 a lbs. $3.99! I haven’t worked out in two days because of a killer migraine and I’m confident the migraine is being caused by the never-ending stack of papers and lack of exercise. Damn you cycles! 

I don’t know about any of you, but I’m planning on attending Jon Stewart’s Rally to Restore Sanity. I looked at the date today and realized it was only 11 days away. While I’m super excited I keep thinking that I need to have a lot of stuff done by the time I leave because I don’t want to come back on Sunday and feel the urge to crawl beneath the Earth’s surface.

Today I noticed my students are starting to feel the pressure of the midterm. I addressed three sections of glossy-eyed, apathetic students today, and two other sections of the same yesterday. Thanksgiving and Christmas will be here soon.

Soon…

Merry Christmas!

After a traditional Italian Christmas Eve meal, I’m pretty much ready for bed. Since my mom was exhausted from cooking (that’s right my mom who is undergoing chemo cooked and entire Christmas Eve meal because she is such a busy body) my sisters and I cleaned up the house. She went to bed after we opened presents and I hope when she wakes up in the morning she is so glad the house looks like a party never happened. The only indications that Christmas Eve occurred are the leftovers.

I hope all of you have a very merry Christmas tomorrow. I’m looking forward to enjoying some more delicious traditional Italian Christmas food at my aunt’s house. I’m also looking forward to returning to my new apartment where I get to sleep in my brand new bed.

Merry Christmas!

Week Three: Write Everyday or Else…

As is always the case I have over-estimated my ability to focus. These past two weeks have not been very productive, as far as the thesis writing is concerned.  While I have written more than I usually do, it hasn’t been enough.  With moving and driving back and forth between my old address and new address it’s been quite chaotic.

I came home for Christmas, although I did  almost regret the decision when I came home to major drama. Still, Christmas is about family and seeing through differences to be together, oh and Jesus’s birthday and I think Jesus should come before my thesis.

The problem is when I’m home all I want to do is help my parents with the house and helping them get things in order, especially since we’re hosting Christmas Eve and the house is still quite messy because of the renovations.

As is with most crazy times, things seem to get crazy just when you think it can’t get any worse. Well on Saturday I sprained my ankle, had to go to the doctor and I can’t seem to stop walking on it.

Since, I can’t help with too much around the house now that my ankle and foot are really bruised and swollen, I’ve decided this is the PERFECT excuse to get some writing done. I did, however vacuum the house this morning though; I also went up into the attic to get some things down to do some minor decorating for Christmas.

I’m not going to do too much physical work though because I’m a runner and not being able to run is killing me. I never realized how much I love to be running around, standing up, and doing stuff until I couldn’t. Yesterday I tried to play the piano but that was a bust because of course I sprained my right ankle which is the foot for the pedal. LAME. At least I have an excuse to write. Maybe that’s what I needed all along.

Well, I’m off to write until my fingers fall off.

Family + Holidays =Explosives

So like most people, I have a crazy family. I love them to death, but there are times when I want to die of embarrassment. Times when I question my biology. Tonight at dinner was one of those nights.

Some background::

I have two sisters. One of my sisters is nine years younger than me and is the funniest person on the planet. She is still in high school and on occasion her boyfriend joins us for dinner. Tonight was one of those nights.

My other sister is 21 months younger than me and we hate each other. She is the blacksheep in our family, and often all of us wonder how she ended up in our family. Her life is a chaotic mess and she is often times immature and blames other for her life and current living situation. She refuses to take responsiblity for her actions and this annoys me to no end. If you don’t like your life situation, stop bitching and DO something about.  When I’m around her for too long I feel like she has a toxic hold over me.  Her negative energy is able to suck the life  and light out of any space.

Tonight at dinner she started rambling about something completely inappropriate and even started telling racist jokes. She proceeded to tell my mother suffering from cancer that she wanted to make her pot brownies because it would help cure the cancer (I warned you, she is crazy). My mother, who is super conservative and opposed to the over use of Tylenol, opposed the idea of any kind of marijuana consumption.

My sister than went on some rant about inappropriate behavior of a doctor that she encountered. All the while my other sister’s boyfriend sat at the dinner table staring at his food. When (let’s call her blacksheep) Blacksheep started to tell racist jokes I removed myself from table.

I don’t think my sister is a racist; I believe she just wanted to repeat some joke she heard. Her disclaimer was that it wasn’t that funny. We were all unsure why she wanted to repeat it. I asked her repeatedly not to even say the joke, begging someone to help me change the subject. She said the joke, which was not funny. 

I sat there as she continued to defend herself and her friend who she heard the joke from. I then got up from the table, having heard enough. 

I went outside for brisk walk in the cold weather. It made me wonder why I drove twelve hours to come home for the holidays. I could have had a peaceful week of getting work done and relaxing. Instead, I enter this pit of chaos.

A week ago I was freaking out about moving so far away from my family, but after this evening, after the yelling, the not being able to sleep in a bed, and my sister’s erratic behavior, I’m relieved that on December 26th I get to leave.

I can’t stay here. 

What makes me sad is that my mother, who is ill, has to stay here. She deserves better. She deserves a clean comfortable house where she can rest and relax instead of constantly wonder what crazy ass thing Blacksheep is going to do or say.

It will be a Christmas miracle if I don’t tell Blacksheep off before the holiday weekend comes to an end.

Christmas miracles? They do happen, right?

Merry Christmas, Damn it!

I was sitting at the piano this evening singing and playing some religious Christmas songs like, “Oh come, all ye Faithful” and “Silent Night.” It occurred to me that I hadn’t been hearing as many of the religious songs on the radio. This made me a bit depressed because here we are two days before Jesus’ birthday and I’m wondering how many people even know that’s what the season is all about.

The Catholic Church doesn’t even start signing the traditional Christmas songs until December 25th. Why? Well, it’s because all the songs are about His arrival. Technically we shouldn’t be saying “Oh come let us adore Him” if He isn’t here yet. Same thing goes for “The Little Drummer Boy.” He isn’t drumming until after Jesus is born. So why do the radio stations stop playing Christmas songs right after Christmas?

Is it because most of us have opened our presents? Funny because the gift giving didn’t start in Bethlehem until January 6th which is the day those Three Wise Men showed up after following that star. Why can’t we wait to end the Christmas season on the 6th? Maybe the radio stations could resume to their regular music but sprinkle in some Christmas songs. I mean it’s not all about Santa.

I guess though by celebrating the religious aspects of Christmas we might be acting radically. Oh those crazy Christians. I am by no means a radical when it comes to anything. I do however feel like the meaning of Christmas is being lost. All over the United States small things are happening that take the magic out of Christmas. Instead of acknowledging the holiday we’ve settled with “Happy Holidays” and “Seasons Greetings.” Who are we protecting? Christmas is becoming the “Holiday that shall not be named.” It’s not evil like Voldemort! Oh no I said it Voldemort! Christmas!

I know I’ve gone on a bit of a rant but I think I’m just trying to say before you open your presents on Christmas day think about why this holiday is so damned special. Consider that by not saying Merry Christmas and ignoring the meaning of Christmas, Christians we’ll be taking a step back. Take some time to remember our history of being persecuted which is why songs like “The Twelve Days of Christmas” exist. Don’t be afraid to say it or sing those songs after Christmas is over. I don’t think He will mind much. It is His birthday after all.

Inflatable Christmas Decorations

I hate them. You seem them in suburbia as well as in urban areas and you know what? They are horrible. I’m talking about those ridiculous inflatable Christmas decorations.

They are just terrible. They don’t look cute, although I think that people who put them up must think they do. Instead, they give off this creepy effect. I have been tempted many times to go through some neighborhoods and deflate them, but that is like vandalism. And I’m am no vandal.

Below you’ll find a list of why I can’t stand them.

1) They are enormous.

2) They are creepy.

3) They move too much when it’s windy.

4) When they are deflated during the day it gives off a depressing vibe.

5) It makes me think the person who put them up also needs to read those books with the enormous print.

6) They scream “look at me” in an annoying and guady way.

7) They look dead and unanimated. Shouldn’t we be celebrating life? It is Jesus’ birthday after all.

And finally…

8) They are un-American.

Your thoughts?

Christmas Shopping and Bopping

I was asked by one of you if the holiday season was a time “to be irritated by the commercialism” of the holiday season. I would have to say, as much as it irritating I would say it’s more stressful. I haven’t done any of my Christmas shopping and you know what? I feel guilty about it. Today I had plenty of opportunities to go out and shop but instead I did some gardening.

I wasn’t even gardening for myself, I was doing it for my parents. Although, I will admit it was a slightly selfish act because I enjoy it so much but, I kept thinking, as my hands were wrist deep in soil, I really need to go shopping.

Part of my issue with buying presents is that I am a horrible gift giver. I don’t think I’m very thoughtful and I’m also a very poor grad student whose rent is due in a week.  I have a significant other I need to get something for and you know what, I’m completely clueless on what to get my other half. Especially since, my love is so much more thoughtful than I am. 

Because I keep stressing over this I find myself not so excited to go shopping either. Who wants to be braving malls, and strip malls pushing their way through other stressed out shoppers. I just know it needs to be done so I should just get it over with.

What I do look forward to though has nothing to do with shopping and gift giving. It has to do with family tradition. I think this is what gets most of us, who are not driven by sales and savings and shopping, through this over commercialized season. I can’t wait for my mom to start baking and to get the Christmas tree set up. I also love putting up the nativity scene and the special holiday towels and mistletoe up.

I hope I’m not the only one who could care less about shopping and looks forward to spending time with family, bake, decorate and of course be annoyed by my family.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I’m tempted to take the lyrics of “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” and change the hook from “There’ll be parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting and caroling out in the snow” to “There be no paper grading, term papers for writing and sitting through three hour class.”

I sang it this way as I drove the hour home. When I got home from school today, by home I should clarify my parent’s house and went outside to do yard work. Writing this statement makes me feel quite loserish. I guess, being a dork is difficult to mask. I wonder sometimes if people go through the day trying to mask something lame about them. I know I do, but for some reason I don’t hide how much I love gardening.

I’m also starting to wonder if it is considered dorky to love Christmas. I cant’ stand the sound of my dad chewing. As I type this I’m thinking I need to move to another room because the combination of silverware, his talking with his mouthful and his chewing soft food as if it is cement is graining my brain. I’m glad I’m not too far away from my quiet apartment. It’s good to know I don’t have to stay here.

What’s the holiday season if not a time to be irritated by family?

I love how you stray from one topic to another with stream of consciousness…it’s so cathartic.

Blah Blah Blah

That feeling of not being able to concentrate and only wanting to eat Christmas cookies is getting to me. I have only one more assignment to submit to my professors and it is winter break for me. What the hell is my problem?