Let me tell you about the “vacation” I’m about to go on. I was born in a very big city. The population of Italians in this city, like many large cities is huge. My family, as my boyfriend has often pointed out, is very critical.
Recently, lets say the past four years, I have changed physically. I was always the fat kid and when I went to college and got nice and thin. Well, the past year and half I’ve been packing on the pounds. It’s very frustrating because I’m in the best shape of my life. I eat healthier and exercise more than I ever have. So what’s with the weight gain? Maybe it’s just that I’m getting older. The thing is I’m still very young we’re talking still in my twenties. This isn’t the major issue.
My family, that I’m going to visit soon saw last saw me at my thinnest. They were very kind about how good I looked, but the thing is Italians, or maybe it’s just my family, are very straightforward. When my sister got too thin, they immediately insulted her telling her she was skinny and said some mean things to her. I’m not looking forward to hearing from my family that I’ve gotten fat.
I’m not really fat, I’m average. Could I afford to lose some pounds? Absolutely. That doesn’t mean I want to hear my family tell me, “you’ve gained weight.”
While I know I shouldn’t care what people think (my boyfriend reminds me of this all the time) it’s family. I’m going to be at a big party, with a lot of them together. While I am absolutely a victim of the outfit crisis, I have been having one for at least a week over a party in two weeks, and will continue to have one. Do I wear a skirt and top, something I can use again when I’m teaching. What about a cute summer dress? What am I expected to wear? What’s too dressy? While I have a lot of fashion knowledge, I am not sure exactly what these people won’t freak out about. I do know one thing, I will have a fabulous pair of shoes to wear.
Maybe I’m being narcissistic. Have I succumbed to megalomania? Why do I care?
I have about two weeks to get to look a little bit better, even if I don’t lose a pound (and at the rate I’ve been going I won’t) at least I’ll be more confident which is sexy.
Still, I’m freaking out.
Since, as I mentioned in my last post, I’m on vacation I’m going to scavenge the malls, T. J. Maxx, Marshall’s and any other store that sells women’s clothing. Maybe I’ll hit up some vintage shops.
Vacation is not supposed to be stressful, but since I moved away from my hometown and have gotten away from the critical eyes of my family, going back there has become difficult. Since I am on vacation time, I’m planning on spending as little time with my family as possible. I’m going to gallivant in the beautiful city I’m from instead. I’ll probably enjoy some shopping since the fashion their is top notch.
Wish me luck, I’m going to need it.