So, I’m done. I have written my last academic paper for graduate school. It felt so good walking over to my professor’s office to turn it in. Of course he wasn’t there, so I put it in his mailbox and it was like a release. I wanted to yell and shout: I’M DONE!

In case I forgot to mention it, my program is a three year program and when I graduate in spring I’ll have completed in it a record two year period. While, I’m an overly competitive person, I didn’t rush through the program because I want to be the first M.F.A. to finish in two years; instead I’m trying to finish it so I can move on.

Living like a grad student is fun for like a year, but when you’ve had a real paycheck then a get a grad student stipend its a tough adjustment. Plus, I promised myself that I wouldn’t get married until I had at least a masters degree and well, I’m ready to at least start planning  a wedding. I’m going to have wait until my boyfriend proposes, and of course I’ll keep you all posted on that. I’m so ready though. It’s such motivation to get my work done. So are those applications to be a professor.

While my thesis is still yet to be completed, right now all I can think is that I’m done writing papers. I finally get to write my fiction. No more excuses.

I am DONE!

I am 7 pages away from being done with grad school coursework. Final paper gets handed in at four this afternoon. I believe a celebration is in order.

I’m working on my last paper for grad school. So stoked about it. After this paper is done all I have to do is focus on my thesis. Love it.

There are few things as wonderful as seeing the light at the end of that tunnel.

I love the start of the holidays. It’s a reminder of how important family is and how material things like Black Friday and all the shopping are really quite insignificant.

My sister is very young. She and I are nine years apart and she’s so excited to wake up at the crack of dawn to hit up the mall. Instead, I’ve decided I’m going to help my other sister get some important things done. As much as I love shopping, and I do, my graduate student budget has taught me a lot about things that are luxuries. I no longer feel the need to go browse the mall, and I don’t buy things unless I really really need them.  Also, it’s important that I keep as little clutter around myself as possible.

I have started to do this by donating clothes I don’t wear and only keeping the essentials, which in my case is a basic wardrobe and my books. That’s it.

As I’m home, helping my mom organize the house and maintain the chaos at a manageable level, I’ve decided my Black Friday will be spent sorting through my things and deciding what gets donated to charity. There is no need to consume consume consume.

I’ve already warned my family and friends this Christmas is not going to include a lot of gift giving. I would rather cook them something delicious, and have  a great time than exchange gifts.

So, as you think about what you’re thankful for, I encourage you not to worry about setting that alarm clock to hit up a 4 am sale at Kohl’s, instead maybe stay up a bit later tonight and have a tea with your mom and chat it up, or laugh a little longer with your siblings. Forget the material stuff.

You can’t take it with you.

I hope all of you great readers out there had a wonderful Thanksgiving, I know I did.

I’m currently working on last minute school stuff and for once I’m excited to be focused. Being focused means being closer to moving, to spending time with my amazing family, and to having time to work on my thesis. It feels good.

I think I’ll focus now.

In order for my semester to be at an end official I need to write one paper, revise another, and grade one set of papers. Thesis is on hold until Dec. 2nd. Sounds like a lot but I’ve got this. Can’t wait.

I anticipated the reading to go better. Once again I’m the Pollyanna of the crowd. Why do writers feel the need to write about such sad things?

It’s quite possible I have no depth. The lack of depth is very likely.

Oh well.

I think, I’d rather have a positive outlook than always write about being sad. LAME.

Tonight at the library of my university, the MFA program will be holding a holiday reading. Last year around this time, the honors society and literary magazine hosted the reading and it was lovely. I’m obsessed with readings. I love going to them, and I love love love reading at them.

I’m currently enrolled in a course that focuses on Emerson and Thoreau and we are always talking about how they did readings around Concord. I have to say, I would totally have loved this. Reading your writing to a crowd is awesome. It allows you to perform your piece how you know it should be heard, and it helps you find places where improvements may be necessary. Also, you’re reaching people instantly.

I love it. I have a small theatre background and I look at every reading like a performance. While some of my peers do not feel the same way I find it important to know when to pause for laughs and when to raise your voice, and read softly. I love reading a piece that gets laughs where you want it. There is also the networking opportunities as with most departments professors tend to support their students.

It’s also very possible that I love the attention.

The thing is, I don’t just love reading at readings, I love hearing writers read their work the way they intend for the reader to hear it. Their work becomes alive and there is this supportive energy in the air. I love it. I love it. I love it.  Not to mention the holiday theme gets me fired up for the upcoming break. I love the holidays, and this readings is the perfect segue.

Okay, enough. I have to practice one or two more times and I’d like to squeeze a nap in.

Have a great weekend all. I’ll keep you posted on everything (the reading, the job hunt, the thesis, moving, and Frankenmommy).

As Thanksgiving approaches so do the deadlines. I just finished leafing through my students final paper rough drafts and you know what kind of crap they are pulling. Sentences like, “I’m only writing this sentence so that she doesn’t say anything.” Really students? Really little freshman? You have got to be kidding me. 

As I stood at the front of the classroom reading the papers, I stopped to read this specific sentence aloud; a reminder– I’m not as dumb as I look. In the three years I’ve been teaching my students have done this a few times. I always catch them and I always call them out on it. I find it incredibly rude. Where do they get off? It is clearly their egos needing some stroking, look at how I pulled one over Ms. ,Mr., or Professor [insert name here]. Yes, aren’t you the slick little student.

Also, I noticed today as I stood in front of  the class, the large quantities of apathy taking up space in the classroom. I was briefly giving comments on the small errors and issues I noticed the class had on their papers and they ignored me. It was as if I wasn’t even standing up there. Really? Of course, your papers are perfect. How could I  have made such an error in suggesting some of your work needs improvement?  Oopsm my bad.

I reminded them that I could easily just stop, cancel my office hours, and not help them. It was fine with me. They aren’t the only ones who are “busy” and “have problems.”  No, we all do. We’re all students struggling to get to the end of the semester. Kiss my ass, Freshman.

This is the first time I’ve noticed my students not caring about my comments. Usually when I stand up to teach they are there with me. They hunger for my advice. They need more and more of it.  What is happening? Have they given up their goals of getting an A?  Frankly, I don’t really care if they don’t want A’s. What is it to me? If they don’t care, then hell, neither do I.

As much as I love teaching, and while I know I write a lot about students and how annoying they are, I really do love it. More times than not, I have a great time teaching. Both of my sections have great students who make me laugh and they take the time to show they care by attending my office hours. In general, they are good kids. The issue, I think, isn’t the actual students. It’s the month of November and all those damn Christmas commercials.

There is still a month and change for them to get through and all they are thinking about is the holidays. And, I hate to admit this, I’m guilty too. I’m ready to move, to eat lots of delicious Italian holiday food, and celebrate the new year. But, I’m still getting the work done, I’m focused.

Frankly, I wish the semester would come to an end already so I can get a new batch of students, a new job and start the new year.

I am struggling to bang out the pages. But I will say applying for professor jobs that begin in the fall really is motivation to get it done. Can’t get a baller job without a baller MFA.

p.s. moving while thesising and trying to graduate is stressful, add job hunting and a family crisis and that’s how you spell the return of the anxiety attack. Love it.