Comments on: A Poem http://onemeanmfa.wordpress.com/2009/04/19/a-poem/ Stories from an MFA student and teacher. Sun, 10 Mar 2013 10:15:12 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: onemeanmfa http://onemeanmfa.wordpress.com/2009/04/19/a-poem/#comment-92 Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:47:50 +0000 http://onemeanmfa.wordpress.com/?p=181#comment-92 I always think more like a fiction writer…but I can’t stop writing poems!

]]> By: shindo http://onemeanmfa.wordpress.com/2009/04/19/a-poem/#comment-91 Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:12:24 +0000 http://onemeanmfa.wordpress.com/?p=181#comment-91 Something after – tears or crying is an emotional climax, so it might help to think of that in terms of the story of the poem. I like it the ending here, but what kind of resolution is there? Yeah, I’m thinking more like a fiction writer than poet.

]]> By: onemeanmfa http://onemeanmfa.wordpress.com/2009/04/19/a-poem/#comment-90 Fri, 24 Apr 2009 14:42:42 +0000 http://onemeanmfa.wordpress.com/?p=181#comment-90 I couldn’t tell if it was spam or not…and let me say, I totally appreciate your comments, because they are always insightful.

I had a friend read the poem and they suggested adding something to the end of it, and remove the part that comes after the italics. I don’t know what to add to the end though. Thoughts?

]]> By: shindo http://onemeanmfa.wordpress.com/2009/04/19/a-poem/#comment-89 Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:01:24 +0000 http://onemeanmfa.wordpress.com/?p=181#comment-89 Oh dear, you got spammed by “Katie.” That comment doesn’t say much. I, on the other hand do offer real comments. :)

I like the concept a lot. I love that you use the cheeseburger as a metaphor for an emotional state. Reading it a second time, I get the emptiness of some things, such as the wheat bun. My question is about the “we” and how can that be connected to the emotional hunger expressed by the speaker in your poem. I think there’s something there.

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